Giving advice on how to love properly is, of course, silly. The right way to love is just to love. But still I want to draw attention to the intricacies of the relationship between women and men.
A man, strange as it may seem, loves above all his state next to a woman. Depending on HOW he feels, so will his desire to be with her.
If he feels like a man next to a woman, he will try to do everything possible for her.
A woman, too, should feel a woman next to a man, then she will see him as a man. But the main responsibility for the female condition lies with the woman. No one will take care of you more than you do. Alas, it is.
To love properly is, above all, to take care of your inner state, well-being and mood. So in the beginning let's talk about us, women, and then our men, what and how they love and how to properly love them.
How do you take care of your inner state??
1. Do not turn your relationship with a man into a duty to himself, do not deprive your relationship of life and joy.
If you work 2 or 3 jobs, come home and the whole house falls on you, what joy in the relationship can we talk about?
You should not be exhausted, tired, lack of sleep - all this leads to your energy depletion, lack of strength and loss of mood, which affects all the loved ones and especially the man.
2. Taking care of yourself and your condition means being able to hear yourself and your desires.
Very often, when you want to help and make others feel good, you forget about yourself. It's good if caring for others really brings you joy and you recharge.
For God's sake!
And if, on the contrary, exhausts you? So think about how to take care of yourself first of all.
Maybe properly distribute responsibilities in your family, learn to say NO, feel the boundaries of your personal space and, in general, have it, both in reality and internally.
3. To love properly is not to impose your love, not to suffocate a man with love and not to demand love and attention from him.
Women have to take care of her inner world, so that there was harmony and peace. If you are overcome by fear of being abandoned, of becoming unwanted, you are afraid of loneliness and you do not see joy in life without a man, then whether you like it or not, you will spoil your relationship and your life.
To love properly is not to lose yourself in a relationship, do not try to merge with a man into one, depriving himself and his personal space.
You have to have your own life that is interesting to you, without a man. Do not leave your hobbies, do not stop communicating with friends and relatives, do not fixate on a man, as the most important, the ONLY, interesting object.
Know how to dissolve in a man and not lose yourself, forgetting about everything, and most importantly - do not forget to come back to yourself again.
4. To care for your condition is to be able to enjoy the process.
When you cook, try to cook not for the result, just to have something to eat, but try to cook in a way that will give you pleasure while cooking.
Learn to enjoy everything you do. Every morning take 15 to 20 minutes for yourself, be alone with yourself, with a cup of your favorite tea or coffee, tune in to a pleasant wave of the new day.
5. To love properly - is in the first place the ability to communicate properly.
It's hard to do when your emotions are taking over, you're upset and hurt, so it's important to keep your inner world in order, to deal with your resentments, your past pain. Free yourself from all the negative and interfering attitudes, then the wave of anger and spite will not overwhelm you, and you can control yourself in a conversation and choose the right words.
When you hurt, you escape your pain, causing pain to a man, thus burning bridges to further understanding of each other.
With a man you need to know how to communicate "I am angry", "I am angry", "I am hurt", "I feel that you do not need me."
Then be sure to voice the reason why you feel all this and offer a solution that would suit you.
This way you will maintain his masculine state in a man, because the "You messages" that you accuse him of always have a very negative effect on a man, and as a result you get nothing, only more pain and resentment.
The need to be able to calmly and accurately defend their positions and desires.
6. It's important to pay attention to your facial expressions and intonation when you talk to a man.
Without even noticing it, you can send a man signals about your real attitude towards him, which is hidden deep inside you. Often you are not even aware of your true attitude toward him.
The relationship is not with a specific man with whom you live or date. It is composed of the attitudes that you have absorbed in themselves from his mother, the relationship that you had in the family, my mother's attitude toward his father and men in general.
7. To love properly is to be able to be open and speak directly, without innuendo about your feelings, experiences, desires.
Men do not understand women's florid conversations.
A self-confident woman will not hint, she will say straight out about her desires.
Very often women because of their complexes and insecurities do not know how to ask and do not know how to accept.
They somehow think that a man should guess everything himself, sometimes forgetting the simple things - ask, but be heard. His requests and desires need to be able to voice directly, without hints.
It is necessary to ask sincerely and at the same time, always leave room in your soul for rejection, but do not doubt that the request can remain unfulfilled. And you have to be patient. Each man has a different speed of perception. Some people need a few days to fulfill your request and desire, someone a few months. Asked and Forgotten. If it is very important, write him a list and stick it in a prominent place, periodically reminding him.
Self-confident woman will rarely think about rejection, and if she gets rejected, it will not upset much, at least it will not connect it with the fact that she did not love.
When a woman sincerely asks a man, he feels his need. It keeps him in a state of being a MAN.
8. To love properly - is to be able to be grateful, to be genuinely grateful and happy for what a man does, it is important to be able to see the good in his actions, and not focus on the shortcomings.
Living next to a man, we begin to treat him as his property, completely forgetting that he is a separate person. We begin to take everything coming from it, as if it all should be, sometimes not considering it necessary to say from the heart: "Thank you"."It is important not to say stock phrases, and sincerely thank you.
When we receive a little from strangers, we are fervently grateful to them, but my man, we rarely spoil their gratitude.
9. To love well is not to wash your dirty linen in public, telling your mother and girlfriends about how much of a monster he is.
First, you're not making yourself look good-you chose him and are living with him.
And secondly, you undermine his authority, and set their loved ones against him, thus cutting the bough on which you sit. In difficult moments, when the relationship is cracking, it is unlikely that after your stories someone close to you will help you keep it.
You may hear only one thing: "Why do you want him like that??" This will not add to his respect at all.
10. To love properly - it's knowing what language of love speaks your man, what matters to him - your embrace or a deliciously cooked dinner, a clean apartment or your praise, a little surprise.
This does not mean that you have to communicate only in his love language, you have your own (which you need to tell the man). It is desirable to remember this. Sometimes a simple misunderstanding of the languages of love leads to quarrels.
You can clean an elaborate apartment, and he will feel unwanted and unloved because you didn't fry delicious cutlets like his mother cooked for him.
Or on the contrary, you will cook him a dinner of foreign dishes, and he will pay attention to the scattered things in the house.
You do not have to try to be perfect in everything, just understand when your man feels your love and care for him.
11. The right way to love is also to respect a man.
And respect has nothing to do with intimacy. Intimacy creates an attraction to each other without reason or grounds. Intimacy can arise from the fact that someone treats you well, but it does not guarantee that you will have respect for that person.
Respect is always based on real achievements, not necessarily material, but spiritual qualities that require no less work than material ones.
Any man has qualities, accomplishments for which he can be respected. It all depends on whether you see them or not.
Respect a man - is to respect the boundaries of his personal space and his desires.
Men are very sensitive to any pressure, they immediately begin to show their stubbornness.
A loving woman will not put pressure on a man, she can express his desires in a respectful way, leaving the choice to a man.
12. To love a man properly is to believe in him, not to doubt him and his abilities.
To believe is to see potential, and if you don't see and don't believe in his abilities, then don't take not OWN, leave it for another woman who will see in him what you didn't see and not because you are bad or couldn't see, you just have a different angle of view.
Why is it so important to take care of yourself first of all? Because a man is very sensitive to a woman's mood, although he does not show it.
Everything a man does, he does it only for the woman, family, children, and it is very important for him to see a woman satisfied and happy.
If the woman is annoyed and tired, the man gets the "I am WRONG", "I cannot make her happy," "I am no good for her. And who likes to feel bad all the time??
Sometimes a woman purposely shows her discontent, wanting the man to think about it and begin to change his behavior or attitude, but the woman does not realize that her discontent and reproaches have the opposite effect - the man closes up.
Now you understand how important it is to deal not only with your appearance but also your inner world? Being in harmony with yourself, you will create harmony around you
Giving advice on how to love properly is, of course, silly. The right way to love is just to love. But still I want to draw attention to the intricacies of the relationship between women and men.
A man, strange as it may seem, loves above all his state next to a woman. Depending on HOW he feels, so will his desire to be with her.
If he feels like a man next to a woman, he will try to do everything possible for her.
A woman, too, should feel a woman next to a man, then she will see him as a man. But the main responsibility for the female condition lies with the woman. No one will take care of you more than you do. Alas, it is.
To love properly is, above all, to take care of your inner state, well-being and mood. So in the beginning let's talk about us, women, and then our men, what and how they love and how to properly love them.
How do you take care of your inner state??
1. Do not turn your relationship with a man into a duty to himself, do not deprive your relationship of life and joy.
If you work 2 or 3 jobs, come home and the whole house falls on you, what joy in the relationship can we talk about?
You should not be exhausted, tired, lack of sleep - all this leads to your energy depletion, lack of strength and loss of mood, which affects all the loved ones and especially the man.
2. Taking care of yourself and your condition means being able to hear yourself and your desires.
Very often, when you want to help and make others feel good, you forget about yourself. It's good if caring for others really brings you joy and you recharge.
For God's sake!
And if, on the contrary, exhausts you? So think about how to take care of yourself first of all.
Maybe properly distribute responsibilities in your family, learn to say NO, feel the boundaries of your personal space and, in general, have it, both in reality and internally.
3. To love properly is not to impose your love, not to suffocate a man with love and not to demand love and attention from him.
Women have to take care of her inner world, so that there was harmony and peace. If you are overcome by fear of being abandoned, of becoming unwanted, you are afraid of loneliness and you do not see joy in life without a man, then whether you like it or not, you will spoil your relationship and your life.
To love properly is not to lose yourself in a relationship, do not try to merge with a man into one, depriving himself and his personal space.
You have to have your own life that is interesting to you, without a man. Do not leave your hobbies, do not stop communicating with friends and relatives, do not fixate on a man, as the most important, the ONLY, interesting object.
Know how to dissolve in a man and not lose yourself, forgetting about everything, and most importantly - do not forget to come back to yourself again.
4. To care for your condition is to be able to enjoy the process.
When you cook, try to cook not for the result, just to have something to eat, but try to cook in a way that will give you pleasure while cooking.
Learn to enjoy everything you do. Every morning take 15 to 20 minutes for yourself, be alone with yourself, with a cup of your favorite tea or coffee, tune in to a pleasant wave of the new day.
5. To love properly - is in the first place the ability to communicate properly.
It's hard to do when your emotions are taking over, you're upset and hurt, so it's important to keep your inner world in order, to deal with your resentments, your past pain. Free yourself from all the negative and interfering attitudes, then the wave of anger and spite will not overwhelm you, and you can control yourself in a conversation and choose the right words.
When you hurt, you escape your pain, causing pain to a man, thus burning bridges to further understanding of each other.
With a man you need to know how to communicate "I am angry", "I am angry", "I am hurt", "I feel that you do not need me."
Then be sure to voice the reason why you feel all this and offer a solution that would suit you.
This way you will maintain his masculine state in a man, because the "You messages" that you accuse him of always have a very negative effect on a man, and as a result you get nothing, only more pain and resentment.
The need to be able to calmly and accurately defend their positions and desires.
6. It's important to pay attention to your facial expressions and intonation when you talk to a man.
Without even noticing it, you can send a man signals about your real attitude towards him, which is hidden deep inside you. Often you are not even aware of your true attitude toward him.
The relationship is not with a specific man with whom you live or date. It is composed of the attitudes that you have absorbed in themselves from his mother, the relationship that you had in the family, my mother's attitude toward his father and men in general.
7. To love properly is to be able to be open and speak directly, without innuendo about your feelings, experiences, desires.
Men do not understand women's florid conversations.
A self-confident woman will not hint, she will say straight out about her desires.
Very often women because of their complexes and insecurities do not know how to ask and do not know how to accept.
They somehow think that a man should guess everything himself, sometimes forgetting the simple things - ask, but be heard. His requests and desires need to be able to voice directly, without hints.
It is necessary to ask sincerely and at the same time, always leave room in your soul for rejection, but do not doubt that the request can remain unfulfilled. And you have to be patient. Each man has a different speed of perception. Some people need a few days to fulfill your request and desire, someone a few months. Asked and Forgotten. If it is very important, write him a list and stick it in a prominent place, periodically reminding him.
Self-confident woman will rarely think about rejection, and if she gets rejected, it will not upset much, at least it will not connect it with the fact that she did not love.
When a woman sincerely asks a man, he feels his need. It keeps him in a state of being a MAN.
8. To love properly - is to be able to be grateful, to be genuinely grateful and happy for what a man does, it is important to be able to see the good in his actions, and not focus on the shortcomings.
Living next to a man, we begin to treat him as his property, completely forgetting that he is a separate person. We begin to take everything coming from it, as if it all should be, sometimes not considering it necessary to say from the heart: "Thank you"."It is important not to say stock phrases, and sincerely thank you.
When we receive a little from strangers, we are fervently grateful to them, but my man, we rarely spoil their gratitude.
9. To love well is not to wash your dirty linen in public, telling your mother and girlfriends about how much of a monster he is.
First, you're not making yourself look good-you chose him and are living with him.
And secondly, you undermine his authority, and set their loved ones against him, thus cutting the bough on which you sit. In difficult moments, when the relationship is cracking, it is unlikely that after your stories someone close to you will help you keep it.
You may hear only one thing: "Why do you want him like that??" This will not add to his respect at all.
10. To love properly - it's knowing what language of love speaks your man, what matters to him - your embrace or a deliciously cooked dinner, a clean apartment or your praise, a little surprise.
This does not mean that you have to communicate only in his love language, you have your own (which you need to tell the man). It is desirable to remember this. Sometimes a simple misunderstanding of the languages of love leads to quarrels.
You can clean an elaborate apartment, and he will feel unwanted and unloved because you didn't fry delicious cutlets like his mother cooked for him.
Or on the contrary, you will cook him a dinner of foreign dishes, and he will pay attention to the scattered things in the house.
You do not have to try to be perfect in everything, just understand when your man feels your love and care for him.
11. The right way to love is also to respect a man.
And respect has nothing to do with intimacy. Intimacy creates an attraction to each other without reason or grounds. Intimacy can arise from the fact that someone treats you well, but it does not guarantee that you will have respect for that person.
Respect is always based on real achievements, not necessarily material, but spiritual qualities that require no less work than material ones.
Any man has qualities, accomplishments for which he can be respected. It all depends on whether you see them or not.
Respect a man - is to respect the boundaries of his personal space and his desires.
Men are very sensitive to any pressure, they immediately begin to show their stubbornness.
A loving woman will not put pressure on a man, she can express his desires in a respectful way, leaving the choice to a man.
12. To love a man properly is to believe in him, not to doubt him and his abilities.
To believe is to see potential, and if you don't see and don't believe in his abilities, then don't take not OWN, leave it for another woman who will see in him what you didn't see and not because you are bad or couldn't see, you just have a different angle of view.
Why is it so important to take care of yourself first of all? Because a man is very sensitive to a woman's mood, although he does not show it.
Everything a man does, he does it only for the woman, family, children, and it is very important for him to see a woman satisfied and happy.
If the woman is annoyed and tired, the man gets the "I am WRONG", "I cannot make her happy," "I am no good for her. And who likes to feel bad all the time??
Sometimes a woman purposely shows her discontent, wanting the man to think about it and begin to change his behavior or attitude, but the woman does not realize that her discontent and reproaches have the opposite effect - the man closes up.
Now you understand how important it is to deal not only with your appearance but also your inner world? Being in harmony with yourself, you will create harmony around you